Statistically I have less days remaining on this earth than time already spent. Reconnoitering the future has become increasingly important to my day as has contemplating what benefit I’ve given to the legacy of the entire human race. It’s easier now than ever to see past the meteoric amount of bullshit my fellow man is capable of gestating. Recently, I’ve learned about the latest bullshit attempt to undermine the future of humanity known as the Stop Online Piracy Act, and it’s disgusting.
In short, this bill that is currently in the workings demonstrates that the government wants to give law enforcement agencies such as the US DoJ and copyright holders an easier path to counter piracy of intellectual property. Oh, and also offer protection for the citizens of the US against counterfeit drugs. What? Aside from the logical leap to connect those two issues, this bill doesn’t sound bad at all. Of course, why would any bill ever proposed in the history of legislation would any bill ever be made to sound bad? That’s because, like most recent legislature, this bill stinks of hidden motives at the cost of civil liberties.
Keeping partisan politics out of this blog, I’ll instead focus on just why this bill irks me so.
Since I became computer literate over 20 years ago, I’ve spent an unhealthy disproportional amount of time on computers and the internet, when that came into fruition. While I actually feel right at home spending my time on a computer, it’s really important to note that I’ve made my living off the computer for almost as long. From designing websites, to chatting with players over a video game interface, I’ve survived on the existence and success of the internet. The Stop Online Piracy Act (or SOPA) plans to put a real shitstain on that.
Under the guise of protecting copyrights and, for some reason preventing counterfeited pills (I’ll get to that later), this bill will eventually allow governmental enforcement agencies as well as just about any corporation who asks to monitor what we do over the internet. I don’t mean learning we visit porn sites. It doesn’t take a legislative act to know that. I mean, literally sniffing each packet that gets transferred to and from a network source (iPhones, PCs, smart refrigerators). This includes, and is not limited to, email, file transfer, web sites, streaming content, what you can see on our web cams for fuck’s sake! Currently, it would appear that nobody has any legal right to do this. Not even our internet provider can go around peeking under the hood. Makes sense, because if you wanted to talk about some sensitive shit, just find our what exactly companies and internet users alike are doing with their internet access. I’m sure it’s pretty crazy.
Ever since the internet came onto the radar of government officials (I would expect 5 years after everyone else figured it out), legislators have been trying find a way to monitor and control it. Each year as a senator has to justify his paycheck, you have to expect them to come up with some way to piss in our punch. Since glomming onto counter-piracy has been one of the easiest, legislators have finally found a bill that looks like it has legs. Introduced in October last year, this latest incarnation at limiting our civil liberties is about to go to session, again. And, I simply wanted you, my faithful reader(s) to know about it.
All is not lost, I think. For one, the internet is pissed. They DO NOT like this Bill. I really doubt anyone likes the idea of every move they make being monitored and possibly cataloged. That’s some serious 1984 shit right there. Well, I suppose Facebook gets a pass. I mean, most of the dumb shit the average citizen does is “out there”. Mark Zuckerberg knows just about everything about me, and more so than my mother probably. As well as countless other corporations that ask my entire life history before I can sign up for a download of a new screensaver. But, even in the face of ever increasing openness about one’s private identity on the internet, nobody wants their fucking dirty laundry exposed and the stench that comes with it.
Obama’s administration is not on board. That’s somewhat more relevant, perhaps. They’ve been pretty clear that this bill will stomp on American rights and that’s just not cool. Obama’s group has been staunchly opposed to lobbyist organizations getting bills to congress since day one, and the SOPA bill is no exception. And, shockingly, or perhaps UNshockingly, this bill has all the makings of a lobbyist’s agenda.
Quick tangent. Oddly enough, while researching this, I also found some serious shenanigans with releasing public information by the Bush family. Lesson from this kids, you can fuck over anybody’s civil liberties you want (Patriot act) but be sure to become President before 12 years has passed so your father’s records don’t become public property. Not cool, team Bush. Ironic to say the least.
So, back to SOPA. Fuck SOPA. Nobody likes you. Nobody needs you. Look, people. The beauty and beast of the internet is that everything is already on record. If it’s on the internet, it’s open season and nobody needs a hunter license. Again, your SHIT is OUT THERE. The other day, a TV actress uploaded a picture of herself, and didn’t realize her nip was showing. Within minutes she took the picture down and replaced it. Five days later, the picture was posted hundreds of times by countless trash media sites. Somebody somewhere has a copy of that file with the dissertation you wrote in college about the potential medical benefits of a yeast infection. But let’s get it straight. It’s out there, because you put it out there. You may not have physically uploaded those pics of you doing the scrunched kissy face naked in front of a mirror, but you gave them to your boyfriend. And, well, it’s on the internet now. Really, the internet is the world’s version of the Library of Congress, except it stores the worst of the worst, among the sparkling diamonds of awesomeness. And, I for one feel we should keep it that way!
Now, who is motivated to move this shitstain into law? Who wants their internet meanderings studied and categorized, and perhaps even manipulated a lil bit? Big pharma. The US pharmaceutical industry with so much pull the earth’s orbit gets jealous. With zero investigatory evidence to back my claim, please read on about why I’m right.
Two points. First, a spokesperson for Pfizer testified at the committee hearing on this bill about the potential danger associated with outside pharmacies offering prescription drugs cheaper and easier than their US counterparts. Er, well, I mean, they argued that Google was caught profiting off the illegal sale and distribution of foreign drug sales through its AdWords advertising. Since 2003 they have been allowing Canada to distribute and sell prescription medication through its ads. And, well, they had to forfeit 500 million dollars to the DoJ once they were punished. Of course, try to not to laugh when you realize how much $500 mil means to Google today compared to 9 years ago. Try to not to laugh when you realize Google probably spent that $500 mil to make billions while expanding their corporate foothold in the world. Please, feel free to laugh at the idea that it’s so blatantly obvious that they’re just tacking on counterfeit drug sales to an intellectual property argument. I mean, I didn’t see anything in there about their concern for people’s well being. Well, nothing substantial at least. No, just how much money was being made selling drugs to people cheaper.
Second, if you already caught Google and can already enforce law without needing to sniff my packets, then why the fuck do we need a bill to make this happen? Clearly you did this without the need to see what my emails to mom are about. Google got busted, and your trillion dollar fortune is in tact. Why do you need to compromise my civil liberty to further pursue hot justice? I can only imagine, more control. Control seems to be the key to capitalism. Keeping the masses at bay using the power of information. If this law passes, and I want to see Dexter season 7 in all its HD glory, I sure as hell better pray I don’t piss off Pfizer in the process. That sentence doesn’t make sense, but then, neither does SOPA. Fuck SOPA.
